There was an exact moment when I made a commitment to myself to finally follow through on a rhinoplasty. Several months before the surgery, I had shaved off my mustache and beard due to a skin allergy. That beard and I had been together for over 20 years, so it took a lot to get used to the new boyish look. Not only did that multi-purpose beard eliminate most of the chore of shaving, but also lent a balance to my face which made my nose seem less prominent. I shuddered the first time I had a good look at my newly naked face, with that tension-nose1 screaming for attention in the middle of it all. That nose just wouldn't shut-up, and that was when I knew it was time for a showdown.
Despite wanting a "nose-job" since being an early teen, there were too many self-restraints that prevented me from having the surgery at a younger age (and boy, am I kicking myself for waiting so long). Well, around the time that you turn 40, there is an unexpected beneficial change. One friend describes this as the time when the "Don't-Give-a-Shit gene" kicks in. It's marvelous, you stop worrying so much about what other people think about your appearance, or your personal views. I remember before the DGaS gene kicked in, leaving the house without showering and changing into clean clothes was reserved only for this-is-men's-work trips to places like Home Depot and the recycling center. Now, with the help of a baseball cap, I'm ready to roll with a moments notice.
After getting a taste of freedom from what others thought of my
appearance, I wanted more. Unfortunately, the DGaS maturation didn't
cover the serious attitude adjustment that my nose required; I guess
there was just too much to cover 
. I
still had that same-old, tired, annoying, energy-draining, and just
plain stupid self-consciousness as it had always been. Fortunately, I
had reached a point where I was no longer concerned what others might
think about my having surgery. At the same time, I felt as though I were
approaching a point that if I didn't do it soon, I'd never do it.
I told myself, be objective, be brave, have one more scrutinizing look at the guy in the mirror. Hmmm, he might be decent looking, if only... It was time. Just do it.
When I told various friends of the upcoming surgery, it was typical
for them to blurt out something like "...but there's nothing wrong with
your nose". Being wonderful and devoted friends that they are, they will
lie to me when they think I need it most. OK, there was nothing
technically wrong with my nose, and I knew that. It was never
an issue of something being wrong; it was an issue of self-consciousness
and self-esteem. When the reason for surgery is addressed in terms of
self-esteem, and reconciling one's inner image with one's outer
physical appearance, most people understand and empathize. Otherwise,
they smile politely, look back at the menu and exclaim something like
"you must try the shrimp here, it's excellent"!
| [1] | Plastic surgeons use the term "tension-nose" to describe a nose where the tip of the nose appears to be exerting a pulling force from the bridge as well as from the base of the columella. In my case, the convex dorsum along with the tethering between the upper lip and columella created this effect. |
